 |
|
News
View |
|
All News |
Add News |
Emoticons |
Mark Unread
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Previous Item - href?
This will go to the previous thread in this topic. | 
Favorite option: If you want this item to be marked as a favorite, click on the black heart.
Painful Puns |
|  Next Item - HBD BBLS and clown line OK READY
This will go to the next thread in this topic. |
|
|
|
 |
Jim HOGAN - Oct 16,2003
Edit |
Adv. Edit |
Delete |
Viewers
| Reply
|
| |
Two boll weevils grew up in Virginia. One went to Hollywood and became a
famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton
fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known
as the lesser of two weevils.
There were two Eskimos sitting in a kayak. They were cold so they lit a
fire, and the craft sank. It only proved, once again,
that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the
bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to
disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to
a family in Spain and they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
Ahmal."
These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small
florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the
men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good brothers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can
prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet,
he suffered from bad breath. This made him... what?
Answer:
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends,
with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
|
| | | |
